


Yours To Give

by amapotofuuu



Category: TWICE (Band)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-03
Updated: 2020-09-30
Packaged: 2021-03-02 01:28:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 12,792
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23986840
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amapotofuuu/pseuds/amapotofuuu
Summary: A bookstore owner, a lost girl, and a handkerchief.What could possibly go wrong?
Relationships: Chou Tzuyu/Minatozaki Sana, Hirai Momo/Kim Dahyun, Im Nayeon/Yoo Jeongyeon, Kim Dahyun/Minatozaki Sana, Myoui Mina/Son Chaeyoung
Comments: 5
Kudos: 41





	1. Chapter 1

Dahyun, a sophomore Literature student, is struggling with The Index: a bookstore she inherited and with the nightmares that haunt her every night. Momo is a runaway rebel who's next in line for the succession of a multi billion business empire. Who have nightmares of her own.

They met one fated sunset. And the rest is history. 

  
A chaotic, fucked up history. 


	2. Same Old

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How boring is your life? Same.

The first thing a brethren must do is to say a prayer. 

To thank and ask. Gratitude. Guidance. Faith. Protection.

Dahyun kneels by her bedside. 

It's a chance at forgiveness. Fear. Confusion. Cowardice. Vulnerability.

  
Dahyun knows, but don't feel. 

  
...

  
Just as she gets up, her alarm rang. Time to prep. 10 minutes for making coffee, 30 minutes to wash, 15 minutes to dress up, 5 minutes to double check if she forgot anything. 

And it's time to go. 

The Index is a 7-minute walk from her apartment. A bookstore ran by her family and Dahyun's first taste at responsibility. Founded by her late grandpa, passed to her dad and now, to her. Jackson greets her as he pushes the shutter door up. Dahyun invites him for breakfast, there's still time to eat. 

08:00 am came. Dahyun walks up to the door, and flips the sign. Marking another day of rearranging books by genre and smiling at strangers.

It's a struggle, she admits. To manage a store while you're on your second year of college isn't easy, especially if you're short-staffed. But ends must meet, so she works on her book report as she sits behind the cashier's counter. Waiting for her customers to pick. A little game that gives her a little idea about what they are. 

"Here.", like this guy fighting against his deadlines, for example. He quicky grab his book and leaves, his change forgotten. Maybe next time. He always drop by every five days, and Dahyun can give it to him by then.

Time flies. A good book makes us feel like that –and so does school work. Dahyun checks her phone. 03:35 pm and some texts. Same old. 

"Boss, you in tomorrow?", Jackson asked. 

Dahyun smiles, he knows why he's asking. Things are peaceful when she's here. 

"I'm afraid not. I gotta submit these papers in. Tzuyu will cover for me instead.", she answered. And the guy frowned. 

"Though I might come by before we close. I can help with the cleaning.", she added. 

"Yeah, that'll be cool. It will be a war tomorrow, I can already tell."

Conversations end. And she haven't eaten anything yet. See? Same old. 

A few more hours left. 

  
...

  
It's 05:15 pm and the shutter door drops. 

A sigh leaves her as she said her goodbyes. She checks her phone for a list. She's out of food, some toiletries, and meds. A little detour won't hurt. The weather is nice after all. So seven becomes thirty five. 

The walk is nice, the weight of the bags she's carrying isn't. But adults don't complain. They just do what they must. And Dahyun is an adult, in more ways than one. How long has it been again? Two years. Started when she moved out of her parents' house, and her parents moving to different parts of the world every month to spread the word of God to the unfortunate ones, a service to save the damned. And Myung Soo, her older brother, is currently in the military. So she was the wisest choice, and the only one. Plus her parents trust her, after all she's the gold standard of what a daughter should be —pretty, polite, smart and obedient. And she's not gonna disappoint. 

Not so far. Not that they can tell. 

The wind is kind, blowing softly, just enough to dry the beads of sweat forming on her forehead. She continues the pleasant stroll back to her concrete sanctuary. Admiring the beauty of the urban jungle before her, busy cars, hustling figures, students going home with their clique. The smell of street food and their luring arrangement across a metal table. Dahyun walks alone in an ocean of belongingness. Everyone seems to have someone. Why doesn't she? What if all she needs to do is to be bold? She shakes away the thought. She can't. She's not like that. She's proper. And to be proper is to not be hasty, to behave accordingly at all times, whether you're being watched or not. 

The sky has lost its light. And Dahyun walks faster. She is not afraid of the dark, but of the things that can happen while the world is surrounded by it. There's no consolation found in the night, only you and your demons staring right back at each other. With eyes fixed straight, she paced through the crowd and turned left, to the third building from the corner. She pushed a door, an elevator button and she's home. 

She rests her body against the couch as she takes out a pill bottle, took two tablets. She gulped down the bitterness of her chemical asylum. This would do. Just a few more minutes, it'll kick in. 

And it will be gone. She reminds herself again, while waiting. 

That she's safe. She's inside. She's alone. 

  
... 

  
She woke up with the sound of her alarm, and her growling stomach. Still on her couch, with a faint pain forming at the base of her back.  
How many times have this happened already? She can't recall. 

She knelt down. Doing the first thing a brethren must do. 

Same old for a day off from work. 10 minutes for making her coffee, 20 minutes for fried rice and a butter toast, 30 minutes to wash, 15 minutes to dress up, 5 minutes to double check if she forgot anything. 

And it's time to go. 

She arrived at the gates of her university, papers at hand. Alone. She walks along these familiar halls, passing through faces she had seen before. Smiles and nods of approval were sent at her, a normal gesture to give a straight-A student, and a business owner. Of course she would smile back, because that's what nice people do. Fighting the urge to make faster steps, breathing through her nose and breathing in some more if it feels like not enough. She'll never get used to their eyes, ogling her from head to toe. Filthy. No, curious. 

Just curious. 

"Ms. Kim, and a day earlier, of course. Excellent.", Dahyun's professor complimented her diligence, but why are his eyes fixated on her legs? 

Fucking vile. No, maybe there's dirt on her knee. 

She covers the body part with her bag, feigned a cough to shift the focus of the man, and politely leaves the faculty room. 

Maybe wear jeans next time, she noted.

Her phone rang, it's just Chaeyoung –no need to shudder. She picks it up to hear a groan on the other line. 

"Just woke up?", she asks.

"Ugh Dubs! I'm so sorry! I said I'll come with you but I fucking overslept. Again.", she reasons. It's okay, Dahyun's an adult. She can go to Uni on her own. Not a big deal.

"It's okay, you work late. Rest is important.", she answered. 

"Did something happen?", Chaeng fires back, and Dahyun stopped in her tracks. A lump in her throat is rising. She wants to throw up. Not here. She doesn't want to make a scene. Maybe a long, deep breath can help. She must keep it together. 

"Nothing. I just submitted my book report and I'm free 'til five. Wanna meet at Jin Young's?", she hopes for a "yes" on the other line. 

And she got it. It's all okay for now. 

So a day out of work was spent well. Dahyun listened to her friend's ramble about how hard it is to find one's muse for a painting. She sipped and finished her milkshake. She suggested Tzuyu, but Chaeyoung said it'll just give her an automatic hundred. Because, well, that's Tzuyu. And reiterated that she wants someone she can feel something with. Feeling. 

Dahyun wished she knows how exactly, that, happens. 

Eventually they had to part, her friend still have a shift to get through tonight. And plates to finish. With a hug and a brief touch she felt against her cheek, she was alone. 

She arrived at The Index at the right time. Jackson greets her, in an exhausted state. A note from Tzuyu is posted by the cash register. She nodded and sent a reply. Helped with the clean up. 

Same old. 

It's 05:15 pm and the shutter door drops.

Same old. 

Same as those nights when she needs to be either drunk or drugged to sleep. Or to keep on sleeping. Otherwise she'll wake up during ungodly hours screaming her heart out. And she won't be able to keep up a simple exchange of hi's and hello's because everything she wanted to forget have burned inside her mind, and the are scars placed around her body as proof. 

Seven remained seven, the sun setting seemed more vibrant than most days. A outburst of ethereal pink surrounding the top –the prelude. The build up are orange rays seeping though the clouds; ravishing the stratosphere. The climax can't be more splendid, the way this celestial body of fire goes down in full glory, red as blood, alive as all hearts that beat—but the artificial horizon of the buildings took away the scene. So Dahyun must force herself to be content with what she witnessed. 

A little greed took over. She grabs her phone, held it up —to immortalize something she wants before it goes away, like most people do. 

A click. No, not enough. Another one —but she halted. 

A girl came to the frame, wobbling her way towards the stairs she'll be using in a bit. She settles on the second step, legs stretched, some bruises visible. Dahyun walks towards her. Blonde, hands gripping her forehead, laying low. Swaying her body to a rhythm she can only hear.

Dahyun cleared her throat —notice me. She might've obliged. The lady, still wobbling, lift her head to reveal, a face. Pale, sweating, chapped, deprived. Has Dahyun seen this before? She can't recall. 

A smile. During the most bizarre of times, the weirdest thing a human can do is to smile, how can a contraction of muscles that forms a curve across your face help determine if you're hurt or about to die? Was there a reason why speech was created? Yes, for times like these. 

But even Dahyun can't mutter a word. Stupid words and stupid smiles. 

Dahyun snapped out of her bubble when the girl mumbled something she can't fully hear nor understand. The stupid smile still remains. Is she a nice girl too? Was she also forced to smile at all times when she was a kid? 

The girl chuckled. Dahyun is one speed dial away from calling an ambulance. She has to say something. 

Anything. So she did. 

  
"Are you lost?"

  
The smile vanished. Dahyun leaned back. She was about to ask again but she got cut off by the stranger losing her consciousness, making Dahyun drop her phone in an attempt to save the girl from a concussion. She's safe, for now. Dahyun slumped herself down beside the girl, moved her head so she can lean on her tiny shoulders.

She takes a breath. A long, deep one. She looks back to the resting figure next to her.

For a split second she saw something inside the stranger's eyes.

  
Herself. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! This is my attempt at writing DahMo. We have been starved enough. We have to do what we must. I'm nowhere near good but still, I hope this interests you.
> 
> Thanks for your time.


	3. Default

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's just necessary. Or is it?

  
A true brethren helps the poor. Heals the wounded. Loves a neighbor. 

And Dahyun, as described by the scripture, is a true follower of the Lord. 

That's why she's grunting with every step, keeping her balance, carrying the combined weight of a stranger and her self-doubt, making sure neither of them falls down as they come closer to her flat. 

Her rushed to find the keys in her pocket, almost dropped it as she unlocks her door, and bangs her shoulder against the wall as they enter. The doorway can be quite narrow for two people using it at the same time. But it's okay. There's pain in helping, nothing she can't bear. She'll just ice it later. 

She settled the unconscious girl on her couch, first thing's first: pulse. She pressed two fingers against her wrist, below the base of her thumb, and felt a steady flow of beats coming through her artery. Which is a good sign. Dahyun exhaled a breath she felt like she'd been holding in the whole time. She's not dead... yet. There's still no clue about what could've happened to her, and what extent of injuries she might have. Dahyun's blood ran cold with the thought. So she runs to her bag and grabbed her phone, pressing one of her speed dials, anxious for an answer. 

And she picked up.

"Dubs! what up?", she answered. 

"Chaeyoung! H-how do you wake up fainted people? And check if they're not hemorrhaging internally or something of the sort?", Dahyun blurted out. 

A loud thump echoed on the line, followed by a few "sorry's" and booming music that eventually became distant. Dahyun is still waiting for an answer. 

"Chaeng listen, I—"

"I'm coming for you, don't move. Give me five minutes!", Chaeng immediately dropped the call. Leaving Dahyun still hanging, still unanswered. 

She sighed. Nothing else to do but wait. 

She quickly walks to the kitchen, grabbed a bowl, poured hot water and added some from the tap, checked the temperature. Just right. Maybe a little bit too hot? She dipped her hand again. Just be sure. It's fine. 

She placed the bowl on the floor, and went inside the bathroom for some clean towels. She can wipe her sweat and tuck her in for the meantime. Chaeyoung is on her way.

She started wiping the beads forming on the girl's forehead. She's not feverish. But still looked too pale. She continued wiping her guest clean, making her a little comfortable despite her passed-out state. Dahyun's a good host. This is just to be expected. 

A few knocks on her door stopped her work. She opened it to reveal a heaving Chaeyoung. Hands placed on her knees. She obviously ignored the elevator and just ran the entirety of stairs leading to the fourth floor. 

"I'm okay, Chaeng. I didn't kill anyone.", Dahyun welcomed her. 

"I know, you're too religious for murder.", Chaeyoung replied back. 

Dahyun pointed the girl still laying still on her couch, and Chaeyoung inched closer to check her pulse, limbs, eyes and breath. 

"Good choice, she's pretty.", she teased, and Dahyun just tilted her head in question.

"Oh. Right. She's not gonna die, I think. I didn't see any external hits or swelling, and she's not drunk either, must be just fatigue.", Chaeyoung, finally. 

"I see...", Dahyun could rest easy for now. The girl is okay. Nothing to worry about. Everything will soon go back to 'same old' again. 

"Just prepare a nice breakfast —not just coffee— and she'll be good to go.", Chaeyoung added. Dahyun nodded, and made a mental note to prepare something more for tomorrow morning. She's a good host. She'll exhibit her hospitality. 

"Well, since Ms. Problem over here is already solved, I gotta run back to the bar. You need anything else?", Chaeyoung asked. 

Maybe Dahyun wants Chaeyoung to stay, so she can hear her "bar stories" —to drive her thoughts away. Or she wants this blonde lady to wake up to tomorrow because there's always an irking dread tingling on back of her neck whenever she's around unfamiliar people, making her look around a little bit more than normal. Or she wants to be back to normal just for fucking once so her friends can stop looking at her with pity in their eyes.

"No, I'm good. I'll just wait for her to wake up. And I'll call you if something comes up. Thanks, Chaeng.", Dahyun lied. She lies. A lot. But they wouldn't know. She had mastered the art of being "fine", and so far she's still unnoticed. 

She'll just compensate later. 

"Okie dokie, Dubs. See ya!", Chaeyoung grabs her for a hug. Dahyun wants to melt in her touch, but she can't be too comfortable –'cause Chaeyoung will stay, for sure. She has bothered her enough. So she taps her friend's back three times before gently pulling herself out of the contact, leading her to the door, giving her best default smile. 

The door closed, and the default disappeared. 

Dahyun spared one more glance to the lady —sleeping so soundly, lips slightly apart, snoring softly. Not having an ounce of care in the world. Envy is the sin that would throw her to the infinite pits of fire, because she resent people for a lot of things. And right now she's resenting yet another stranger for not having to drown herself to prescriptions just to get a moment of peace. Something that seemed so impossible for Dahyun. Something she'll sell her soul to gain. 

Eternal damnation for good sleep? A good bargain. Very enticing. 

She knelt before her bed again, after spending some time to prepare what she needs to keep the night tranquil; a glass of water and sleeping pills. She tightly closed her eyes, not minding the pain that's starting to creep on her knees. A little bit longer. It's okay, she said she'll requite.

And here it is. 

She popped two tablets in, chugged it down. She's just waiting for it to kick in again. Laying on her soft sheets, eyes fixed on a silky piece of cloth neatly folded, placed on her nightstand. And eventually slumber visited the maiden anticipating its return. Droopy eyes slowly closing as a vow repeats inside her.

She will find her. 

She will.

  
...

Dahyun woke up without the help of her alarm. She squints from the light peaking through her windows, she feels warm. Not the usual kind of warm, which is none. She placed a hand against her forehead. It isn't fever. But her other hand feels warm. Other. She turns to see her right hand, tightly held by a pair of larger hands —hands that belongs to the lady rescued last night. She, for reasons unknown, is now sitting-laying by Dahyun's bedside, head and arms resting on her sheets, as if tending to a sick friend. Dahyun might've short-circuited. 

A loud shriek echoed inside Dahyun's apartment. That was followed by a gasp, a thud and a whine. 

The one that trespassed her room is now sitting by the kitchen counter, with an ice pack on her head. 

"I don't think I've heard someone shout that loud before.", she said as Dahyun came in, after explaining to some next-door tenants that "No there was no thief, I'm okay. It was just a cockroach.", another lie. Dahyun isn't scared of bugs. She's even good at catching them. But they bought it. Problem solved. 

"Again... I'm sorry, I panicked. I did not expect someone else by my bed when I woke up.", she reasoned. She took out the bread from the toaster as soon at it dings. Mugs ready for their drinks. Eggs almost cooked. Did she forgot something? 

It was the first time in 5 months that she's cooking for two. 

Yes, of course. Offer choices.

"Uhm... coffee or—"

"Hot choco please! With marshmallows on the top!", she gleefully answered. 

Dahyun nodded. She took the carton of her precious milk choco and poured it in, her precious hot chocolate mix saved for rainy days and lazy Sunday solo brunch dates while binging Spongebob Squarepants. Her precious, immaculate drink topped with the most premium white mallows amongst the mediocrity of selections available on the market shelves. Slowly departing from her hands as a new conqueror clawed her long, pointy fingers around her white Hamtaro mug, taking it to uncharted territory. And there it goes, steam being blew away by foreign breaths, tested by an inexperienced palate. 

"Wanna take a sip?", Dahyun snapped back to reality. She have been staring too long at the drink she might've looked weird. She shook her head and grabbed her coffee. Counterattack. Coffee is nice too. 

"The food is good. Especially the hot choco.", the girl said between bites. What a blithe. The lump is rising again, she sipped the bitterness down with another bitter drink. Double negatives means positive right?

"Why were you sad?", the stranger is a curious one. Dahyun looked at her, finding her motive, only to find a pair of eyes wide-open —holding her breath in for an answer. Dahyun don't share her mind to people, friends or not. She was taught to always save her words —to pacify, not to provoke. 

"I don't even know your name, Miss.", Dahyun bites back. She's not that easy. The lady asking smirked at her. All too knowing for Dahyun's taste.

"Wary of strangers, I see. Good. As you must.", she answered. She sound like she have trailed back and forth through the crevices Dahyun's brain. Her vibe too familiar, looking her as if she knows what buttons to push. And this is starting to piss the host off. 

"I'm sorry, my manners. Right. I should introduce myself. I'm Momo. Hirai Momo, and thanks for helping me... ah —your name?"

"Kim Dahyun."

"Great. Thanks again for helping me, Dahyun-ah.", she continued as she offers her hand for a shake. Dahyun obliged. So hand meets hand, Momo's warmth encompassing her, feeling the life from it. She was about to retreat but Momo kept her grip steady. Dahyun looked up to meet the same glimmer in her eyes from last night. Her lopsided smile never fading from her face. A very alluring one. Dahyun shook the thought way, stumping her feet lightly. The warmth remains. 

"And no, I'm not lost. Not anymore."

  
Dahyun doesn't know what to do with that information.   
The nerves on her nape are calm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! Second chapter up! Thanks for your time. :)


	4. Of Plans and Motives

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What drives you?

  
A brethren must walk the road of holiness, with faith as strong as a fortress that withstood the greatest of wars —following the ways of the Lord.

To live with a heart undeceived by sin, free from temptation. 

And Dahyun, as hard as it may be, will fight the enticement of the Devil. 

But a bite won't hurt, right?

"Hmm... isn't it good?", Momo teases. Dahyun stayed as tensioned as she was, not even daring to blink her eyes. Conflicted is a word, but it won't suffice the storm going on inside her mind as the morning of calmness and hot drinks takes a different turn. 

Momo inched forward, licking her lips ever so slowly, making the faithful crack —palms sweating, making her clench the hem of her shirt tighter. Was this supposed to happen? The pinkness of the visitor's assets slavered, highlighted by the rays of light passing through the kitchen's window and Dahyun have lost count of how many times she have gulped the lump residing in her throat, still not enough to quench a wildfire raging from within.

"Ah!", Dahyun finally closed her eyes, bracing for impact, a tug she felt —and her chin is being guided forward to meet the untimely reason for her confession. She slowly parted her mouth, almost quivering in anticipation of what's about to come, earning a dry chuckle from the perpetrator in front of her. 

And the crunch awoken her senses back to reality.

"See? I told you, it's just the right amount of toastiness.", Momo added. 

Dahyun quickly seached for water, chewing as fast as she can. Trying to extinguish whatever it is she felt moments ago. Now is not the time to daydream. She must go to work. As she gets up, her phone rang; it's Jackson. And she's late. She quickly runs to the room, grabs a few clothes and gives them to Momo, who's still finishing the fine meal prepared for her. 

"What's this for?", Momo asked as she chews the last bite of her toast. Dahyun is currently brushing her teeth but still tried to answer the girl's question. "Chanf inthwo thaft", Momo barely understood but obliged nonetheless and waited for her savior to come out of her room. 

"I'll take you with me to work. You can contact your family and tell them to pick you up there.", Dahyun lead Momo out of her apartment, and into the world.

It mustn't be so hard for Dahyun, and Momo trailing behind her, to walk their way to The Index —if not only for her visitor cooing at every little fur fella she sees. So here they are, stopping for the 7th time in a supposedly 7-minute long stroll, because Momo deemed that it is her solemn duty to pet every dog she sees. Dahyun could only sigh, it would be rude to stop her —especially when the girl is completely lost in happiness. She noticed how the bridge of her nose crinkles as she lowers herself down to reach the canine who's as equally excited to meet her. Smiling as bright as the morning sun as she picks up the dog into her arms, taunting Dahyun's fear of the said animal. Her voice sounded like the feeling of finally grabbing your cotton candy after riding a rollercoaster, which Dahyun have never done before, but still knows that it would be as soft and as rewarding as that. Momo looked up to her while cuddling the good boy and beamed another toothy grin, she nodded to let her know that it's okay to play with the dog some more. They're late anyway. Time could be a friend or an enemy in an urban jungle known as Seoul, specifically for people who have businesses to run; but the thing is, her visitor is enjoying —isn't that what good hosts aim for?

"I'm sorry for ruining your hoddie, Dahyun-ah", the two are just a pedestrian lane away from the bookstore. Momo is currently dusting the fur off her borrowed clothes. The light turned green, and they walked side by side, Dahyun glanced to Momo, who's pouting as she checks for any dirt left on her hoodie. 

"It's okay, Momo-ssi. It is an old hoddie anyway.", she replied as she opens the door, revealing Jackson dusting a few shelves. As introductions were made, Dahyun reclaimed her spot behind the register, Momo tailing behind her; surprisingly curious. She observes attentively as Dahyun answered questions and gives book recommendations to novice readers and students with no idea what book to use for their projects. Momo tries to help in packing books and even inviting people to buy the titles that are on sale, with her preppy voice and encouraging smile. 

"Did I do well, Dahyun-ah?", Momo asked as she walks back to the counter after greeting customers goodbye. Dahyun nodded in approval, it was a good job indeed; especially for a first-timer. Does she like to help people naturally? Are the smiles that she freely gave to others real? Or part of an act she spent years to master?

Dahyun is resentful for a lot of things. She can't seem to fathom the logic behind an act that is driven by positive motives. She believes that it simply doesn't exist. That the real thing that pushes people to do anything at any given situation is fear. 

The fear of nonconformity. 

What was the first thing your parents taught to you? Yes, to follow them. You go to school where teachers feed you information that you know you can't apply in real life but yet still spent sleepless nights on because they told you so, and you need to follow. And as you age, you'll find out that harmony between people isn't based on acceptance or love, but on whether you can submit to the norm. Dahyun knows that. She has seen the damnation that came to those who defied the majority. And she's not gonna make the same mistake. Not again. 

So whether Momo's smile, or the way she is currently looking back at her in worry because she had wandered too far from reality —shouldn't bother Dahyun anymore. The answer is obvious.

The familiar sound of the hanging chimes being hit by the door brought Dahyun back to the present. She looked to who the customer might be but instead she was startled by a pleased yell from the girl beside her, now running towards the girl with a blonde hair much longer than Momo's, standing prim, too prim, and not even flinching a bit as Momo smothered her with hugs and giggles. 

"Good morning, did she cause you trouble?", she spoke with her soft voice; making Dahyun lean forward a little. 

"Oh... she didn't. Not really.", Dahyun answered with her default smile. It seems like the new girl did not buy her answer. She quickly bowed, and muttered an apology, making Dahyun stand up and step out of the counter. She can't have a stranger suddenly bowing down to her. And Momo remained clinging to her friend. 

"No, it's okay, she was even helping me here. She was great!", Dahyun panickly rambled. 

"Still, I'm sorry that she barged into your house and even stayed the night there. She can be a bit too much to handle.", the girl replied to her. Dahyun can't help but wonder, they seem so close and yet so different. Connections can really be weird. Maybe because commonality is the only basis of relationship she only knew. 

"Dahyun-ah, this is Mina. My bestfriend. Minari, Dahyun-ah, my saviour.", Momo cut in to lighten the mood. Mina responded by offering her hand to Dahyun, to which she of course reciprocated. 

"Myoui Mina, I'm basically her caretaker. Momo lives with me, and she's new to Seoul, thus being lost from time to time. I really hope she hasn't caused problems to you, Dahyun-ssi.", Dahyun nodded and gave her default back at the girl. She seemed nice, and formal, and her stance is screaming order and finesse. Dahyun is slightly intimidated by Mina's aura, but hid it behind the smile. What's making her more conscious is the way that Mina stares at her, that seems to just scan her all over, without actually breaking away the eye contact. Her fight or flight response switched on, taking in a deep breath before politely asking them to leave. 

"Minari~ I'm hungry.", Momo interfered. Mina looked at her and nodded, messaged received. 

"We'll go ahead now, Dahyun-ssi. Thank you for taking care of Momo.", she bowed once again. And they were gone. 

Dahyun can finally breathe. The first thing she did is to reach for her phone. Pressed 1.

"Yep?"

"Can you stay over tonight?"

...

A black Mercedes-Benz CLS-class parked nearby awaits the two, their driver opened the door like clockwork, and the two got in. 

The drive was a smooth one, people are out trying to make the most out of today. The passengers of the car remained quiet as they took a turn to Gangnam, nearing their stop. 

"Your flight's in two days.", Mina finally gave in.

"Cancel it.", Momo responds; eyes still fixed far away.

"What?", Mina turned to her. "This isn't the plan."

"Isn't she interesting? The bookstore owner. What do you think?"

"Is she the reason why you didn't come home? Aren't you done sleeping with her? This is not like you, Mo."

"I know. But I'd like to hang around some more. And you're here too."

"What about Paris?"

"That can wait. Plus, I don't think they know that I'm here. You can relax.", Momo finally looked back at her, a knowing smirk painted across her face. 

Mina sighed in defeat, there's no stopping Momo, all she can do is watch and wait. 

"And we haven't slept together... not yet."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi folks, it's been a while right? Been busy with work and the comeback, thus the late update. Will try to catch up.  
> Let me know what you think. 
> 
> As always, thanks for your time. Stay Safe.


	5. Some Nights We Want To Erase

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How do you run?

Every brethren has their own cross to carry. 

It is the biggest test of one's faith. 

To walk in this life with suffering, whilst remaining hopeful for salvation.

And Dahyun, like the rest of us, has her own hefty load to bear. 

  
...

  
It was 06:30 in the evening when Chaeyoung walked in to Dahyun's apartment, waving a premium-grade whiskey that was given to her by the club's boss. Perks of being a bartender, and a cute one at that.

Dahyun sighed, it has been weeks since the last time she got drunk —and it was ugly. But the chemicals in her brain seems to like the chemicals in that bottle, and the tension must be eased. 

"C'mon now Dubs, don't chicken out on me. I need this! And it looks like you do too, or else you wouldn't ask me to come.", Chaeyoung said as she puts down a bowl of ice and two glasses on a little black coffee table, complementing the humble setting of the living room, waiting for Dahyun to finally make up her mind. Decision-making isn't one of Dahyun's strongest suits, and she's thankful that she found a friend that's quite patient. 

"I'm not backing out. Just thinking if we can finish all that.", Dahyun replied to hide her desire to snatch the liquor bottle from the surface and chug it all in one go. Which earned a delighted chuckle from the bartender. It's needless to say that she feels sorry for repeatedly lying to everyone's faces, but she can't afford to ruin the front she had build from nights of voilent whimpers and dried up tears, nor stand being the center of unwanted sympathy from others. She'll just compensate soon. It's all good. 

"I invited Tzuyu, but she got plans, guess we'll have to do our best then! By the way, pizza?", and with that Dahyun stood up to get a box from their favorite pizzeria, she preheated it 30 minutes ago, shall she do it again? Is it still okay? Decide. No, it has gone cold. Place it back in oven, it's not that hard. 

"You okay there?", Chaeyoung asks. Her voice was heard, but Dahyun was preoccupied by the thought of how people use heat to clean food, and if she do the same —to her body— will it take away the filth that's in every inch of her skin? Her hand moved on its own, reaching for the oven's handle. Some smoke escaped, her mind is still repeating the idea like an old show in the middle of the night, again and again —and again. Filth in fire, fire and filth. Burn. 

Burn. 

Burn. 

Burn them all. 

"Dahyun?", and her hand stopped. Dahyun blinked fast as she turns around to the source of the voice. She saw Chaeyoung's wide, bewildered eyes; like an animal lost in a traffic jam. Mouth hanging open, as if words just left her body. 

And Dahyun doesn't know why. 

So confused meets hallowed. 

"Dahyun?", Chaeyoung asks again, this time Dahyun snapped back to now and quickly reacted. 

"Yeah?"

"What are you doing?", what was she doing?

"I.. I was getting the pizza.", she replied. 

"But you're not wearing a mitten...", Chaeyoung said, but maybe more like asked, Dahyun can't tell. 

So she looked back at her hand, bare. And just a few inches away from injury. 

Chaeyoung quickly grabbed the mitten resting on the top of the counter and pulled her friend up. Dahyun was instructed to go sit on the couch, while the pizza is being prepared. And of course she obliged. She looks at the bottle of whiskey, her thirst becoming more obvious. Chaeyoung quickly catches up and scoots over to her side. Dahyun remained quiet, just patiently waiting for the bottle to be opened. A proper lady never initiates.

"Hey Dubs,", her hands feel warm. Dahyun looks at her. 

She's really thankful for Chaeyoung, for always being there. For always being patient. 

And for saying the words that Dahyun herself can't articulate. 

  
"Are you starting to forget again?"

Has she?

...

  
  
That night was supposed to be fun, like most of the evenings Dahyun had spent with her two friends. Tzuyu lead the way to the door, walking straight and past the long queue of bodies, waiting for their turn —so this is how it feels to be elite. People were breaking their necks to steal obvious glances at the person holding her small, mildly perspiring hands. It was expected, she never went nor thought of ever stepping inside this place. 

As the doors open, Dahyun's heart starts racing, in sync to the bass bouncing in every corner of the club. She swallowed the nerves pulsing on the back of her throat. It's all good. There's always a first time for everything. 

Tzuyu waves her hand and the crowd made a way to the bar counter, with Chaeyoung waiting behind, drinks already laid out for the three of them. 

And so the party starts. 

Dahyun can't recall much of what happened, but she knows that alcohol doesn't taste as good as it is being advertised. And every gulp makes her body a degree hotter, and her world a second slower. Chaeyoung was red, Tzuyu is blushing and is leading the former to the dance floor. As the song progresses, there were hands landing in all sorts of places, and she's starting to feel embarrassed. The two doesn't seemed to mind though, they're giggling and shouting like the rest of humans inside this stimulating cage, drowning whatever it is they need to push down to the sea of brown, blue and clear. 

"Having fun?", a voice made her turn away from her friends. And it might be the vodka but holy shit this girl is pretty —too pretty. 

"I —yeah, yes! I'm having a good time. Yup!". Apparently for a drunken Dahyun, one word of affirmation isn't enough. 

"That's nice to know, may I pour you another glass?", the girl offers. 

A shot became two, and three, and Dahyun has lost count of how many came after that. She was getting hotter but minus the sweat. Chaeyoung and Tzuyu came by to check her, and she gave a nod and a smile —it's all good. 

And eventually all the fluid Dahyun drank take its toll on her. 

She tries to get up on her feet, but both became two wobbling supporters that made her surroundings swirl more that it already has, making her lose her balance. She have accepted that she's about to be the laughing stock of this club for the next five minutes, until a pair hands held her arms, making everything steady for a second. It was followed by a heat that's not hers. And the intoxicating smell of cottoncandy and jasmines under her nose. 

Whether it was the perfume or the amount of liquor she consumed that making her so weak and sleepy, Dahyun can't tell.

"Let me take care of you, lost one.", she heard. 

Dahyun nodded. And how she wished she didn't. 

She thought it was all good. 

  
But there's always a first time for everything.

  
...

  
Two bodies lied down their beds at the same time. One took a long, deep breath to battle her tireness and quickly get up. The other remained motionless, her gaze stuck to the ceiling.

"I should be out.", she says. She should be.

"Not tonight, Mo'. Come help me here.", Mina reponds. 

Momo grunted back. She kicked her pants off and changed to her home clothes, folding the fur-infested hoodie she borrowed neatly before placing it to a different hamper. 

She was welcomed to the kitchen by the smell of mix veggies being sauteed by Mina, and the sizzling sound of steaks being seared in a pan. 

"Well done please!", Momo requested, which made the cook furrow her brows. 

"Will I make you eat a tire? No, I'm not barbaric. Medium rare is the standard.", Mina replied. 

"And since when did I live up to the standard, I wonder?"

Mina looked up to see a lop-sided smile from Momo, then the two just bursted out laughing. They have their share of inside jokes Momo can make snarky remarks about and it's always a sight to see. 

"Ah, fine. Just don't complain if you have to chew the meat longer. We can't ask the servants to do that for you.", Mina said in between her giggles. 

"I'm not that entitled. Please.", Momo replied as she get the plates ready. 

The two spent their dinner in peace, but Momo can't help but think of sneaking out. Nothing bores her more than being inside their apartment. All these high-end furniture that's just all for show, really. It makes her think that she's back to her cage, just a different one. A black and white modern classic cell with the softest couch and a familiar jail mate. But she'll have to make do.

  
After all there's no home left for her.

  
Not that she had one to begin with.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! It's been a while. I went through a slump that made me lose my interest in writing for a while. But it's all good now. Sorry to keep you waiting, and as always, thanks for your time.


	6. The Spiral

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Does your world spin sometimes?
> 
> Note: 
> 
> Mature content  
> Trigger Warning: Anxiety

Every brethren walks through the valley of despair and sin.

Dark. Desolate. Frightening.

Exposed.

And in times of suffering, His words are our salvation.

_"Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go."_ \- Joshua 1:9 NIV

Dahyun, like the true follower that she is, believes.

After all, His wisdom is beyond our understanding.  


...

  


It's 03:32 am.

Dahyun wakes up with a jolt. She released a breath that she quickly tried to take back, only to find it's no longer there.

The room is trashed, and beside her is Chaeyoung who's sleeping with both her arms and legs spread wide, like a starfish. The unnerving static that steadily flows through her ears makes her want to tear both of it off. Her vision blurs, she thinks she can see her hands —but she can't feel it there. Her heart pounds stronger in perfect sync to the ticking of the clock that slowly moves closer; so is the rest the things inside of once what she have considered as her safe place. The established rules of space or mobility are nowhere near —in its place is a figure of a woman, that seems to get bigger and bigger with every blink of her eyes. The continuing low noise becomes unbearable, and all is swaying as they tower over Dahyun's paralyzed state. This feeling isn't foreign. She have felt it before. But she can't recall, not when all is slowly melting down, colors slowly decaying away to reveal a new shade of black Dahyun will fear for the rest of her life. The sound of the woman's heels clicking against the floorboards sends another round of shivers across Dahyun's body. And the floor is starting to crack behind the approaching demon. She moves closer...

And closer.

And closer.

And closer.

Dahyun can't look away, her throat feels hot —strangled. Unable to shout, cry out or ask for help. This is how she dies.

Dahyun felt a cold touch on her chin, so cold it makes her skin crack, and it hurts, it burns. This is how she dies.

Dahyun tried to breathe in, again, but oxygen seemed to have froze in the presence of the harbinger of her impending demise.

She tugs her chin up, and Dahyun felt her bones crumble down. Everything hurts. This is how she dies.

_"Let me take care of you, lost one."_

This is how Dahyun dies.  


And Chaeyoung, as well as three other tenants of the apartment building they're in, woke up to Dahyun's piercing wail.  


...

  


Tzuyu locks the door behind her, making sure not to make a sound. It's almost daybreak. Yet she feels hot as if it's high noon on a summer day.

"What that fuck were you thinking?!", she spits out lowly to Chaeyoung, who's rubbing her temples due to the pain that's been pulsing there for the past hour.

"I thought she drank her meds. I should've checked.", she timidly replied.

"Yeah you should fucking have! When will you take some damn responsibility huh? Fucking gut up, Son.", Tzuyu snaps back as she rests her body against the kitchen counter.

"You think I wanted this?! Do you think I enjoy seeing Dubs hurting, is that what it looks like to you, Tzu? I fucking blame my fucking self every single day! If I haven't invited you guys...", Chaeyoung's tears finally breaks down as she stood up from the her seat. Her knees buckled, and gave out, making her fall butt-first to the floor. Tzuyu looks back at her friend. Pity starting to show in her eyes.

"If I haven't let myself get so drunk,", she continues in between her sniffles, "I could've looked out for her. That won't happen..."

She smacks herself in the head, making Tzuyu rush over to stop her. "And... and she won't have to be like this. She won't be like this.", Tzuyu grabs her face, and inched it closer til their foreheads come in contact. Chaeyoung continues to cry her heart out, facing the unending guilt that has always lingered in the back of her brain.

"I know. I'm sorry. I—", Tzuyu tried to calm her friend down.

"This is all on me. I did this to her. I did this. This all my fau—"

"No, no... both of us are at fault. We left her. It's not only you.", Tzuyu rebuts as her own tears start to well up in her eyes.

Both of them continued to sob as the sun slowly breaks into the windows of Dahyun's apartment. Inside her bedroom is Dahyun, who quietly listened to her friends as she waits for the fucking pills to start woking its magic.

Under the blankets she grips a book harder against her chest. She pushed her sheets down and knelt by her bed. She says a prayer, a silent plea —begging— to put an end to all of this. Or to be provided with an answer. Just a simple answer as too why she became the mess that she is.

A tragedy dressed up as in silk and laces. A goner.

Lost.

...  


It's 03:32 am.

Momo snuck out to do what she needs to.

So here she is, with her tongue fighting for dominance as she's being pushed to lay down an unfamiliar bed. The smell of Jasmines and Honeysuckle with a tinge of tequila lingers in the room. Mood set right, Momo thought.

She unclasped her black silk-laced brassiere, while her jeans are being ripped off by a girl that she just met 45 minutes ago. Her breasts weren't lonely for too long, as her partner takes one to her mouth, tracing shapes accross Momo's supple asset, and the other being kneaded by her other hand, she can't help but let out a low, encouraging moan. It felt good, and Momo gives credit where it's due.

"Move, down.", Momo commands.

And she followed, Momo threw her head back as her takes in the sensation that is her tongue trailing wet kisses from where it originally was, to her slim abs being adorned with bite marks and spots of purple, she loves all of it —the pain, the tease, the tension; the ecstasy— the girl whimpers as Momo grabs her by the hair, making her look up.

"Don't close your eyes. Look at me.", another rule to be obeyed.

Momo guides the girl back to where she needs to be.

She is overflowing, which made the girl salivate. Momo can't help but grin, look at her wanting it so much. Like nothing is better.

Well, nothing's better than Momo.

"Now.", and she quickly dives down on Momo's sex. Carefully speading it with both hands before dipping in. Momo's breath hitched, she can feel her tongue exploring every facet, reaching deeper, moving faster and faster as their eyes locked, not daring to blink. She can feel how hard the girl swallowed her juices, and making sure none is wasted. Momo sways her hips up and down, she can be cooperative too. The girl's breath is hot, making her shiver more, and she lets out a sigh.

"Use your fingers.", and two enters in, thrusting madly making her voice rise higher, her body following suit. The girl continued working for her pleasure, and Momo is enjoying her service a lot.

Soon after she feels her peak approaching, she pushed the girl away and taps the bed, and the message was received. As the girl lies down her body, Momo puts herself on top of her, to begin the final ride.

"Faster!", Momo yelps and the girl below her can only hum in response, her mouth is busy after all. With her hands gripping her hair, and her body waving back and forth, Momo reaches the climax of the night. She looked down to the girl who's as pleased as her, eyes glassy, all red and heaving.

This is what being worshipped feels like.

"And there's nothing better.", she quietly mumbled as she flops to the bed. Breathless. Eyes closed. She can feel kisses on her neck. She glanced back at her girl she just met 45 minutes ago, looking at her with so much lust. And she must oblige. It's always give and take.

Momo never listens to men, but Aristippus has a point.

After a while, Momo walks outside of the building, and back to her house. She chuckled at the sun that's about to come out any minute from now. She must've really enjoyed it. She looks around. Right, she have been here before. She turns left and walked to the third building from the corner.

She is welcomed by the same stairs she sat on the first time. There's no harm in reminiscing good, semi-drunken, times so she sits again, trying to remember where her savior was standing as she asked the question.

She takes a stick, and lights it up. She'll just deal with Mina later.

_"Are you lost?"_

She takes a deep drag, filling her lungs in. And slowly lets it go.  


Maybe.

...

"It is really colder in here, I see.", the airport here is busier than the one she came from. So hailing a cab that will escort her to the hotel isn't going to be hard. After two minutes, one stopped by in front of her. The kind driver helped her get her luggage, and she gave out a sweet smile in return; noting internally to give him a tip later.

The trip to going to her hotel was smooth. She was welcomed by some receptionists and in a few minutes, she is already inside her presidential suite. Blessed with an overlooking view of the whole metro.

She sips her wine, and sighed as the liqour marks down her throat. That was okay.

Her phone rang, she walks back to her device, placed on top of a marble counter top. Just in time, she thought.

"Do you have some news for me?", she answered expectantly.

"Yes, _Ojou_ - _sama_. I have found the whereabouts of Miss Myoui and Miss Hirai. I shall send it to you right away.", a man responds.

"Very well.", she replied, delighted.

"Do you wish to have continued surveillance on them, Miss? Or shall I have them extracted?", that made her laugh.

"No need, thank you very much. I will have your raise requested immediately. And as we have agreed upon, no one will know that we are here. Am I clear?", some points need to be stressed.

"Understood. I will take my leave now, Sana _ojou_ - _sama_.", and the call was dropped. Soon after she received a message containing a residential address and a name of a University.

"Interesting.", Sana said as she opens her laptop, after a few minutes browsing she dialled another number.

And it was answered.

"Hello?", a lady spoke.

"Yes, hi. I saw the ad for the an apartment. And I'm interested.", Sana politely replied. The lady she was silent for a few seconds until she realized what the call is about. She cleared her throat before finally responding.

"Yes, uh, understood. But the thing is, I'm currently residing in that unit 'cause mine got some plumbing problems. So..."

"It's okay, I don't mind sharing.", Sana interjects, she's getting sleepy and this conversation needs to end.

"So, when can I schedule a meeting to discuss everything? Will tomorrow be okay for you?", she added.

"Uh, yeah sure! We can meet up at the shop I'm working at.", the lady finally answered.

"That's good. I'll see you tomorrow. Have a good night. Bye!"

"Yes, you too. Bye!", and another call was dropped.

She goes back to her drink. Eyes staring at the mesmerizing city lights from room, nothing new. She have seen greater things and tasted better wine. But she's not here for a vacation, so she won't complain. She just decided to draw the curtains closed and finish her glass. It's best to sleep. She will be busy, after all.

She checks her phone one more time, she received a message —a photo of Momo sitting by entrance of a what appears to be an apartment complex. Smoking.

That made Sana chuckle. How rugged.  


"Oh well, time to bring the exiled back home."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi again folks! Got a bit pumped so I decided to drop another chapter. Hope you like it!
> 
> Stay safe and as always, thanks for your time.


	7. The Aftermath (I)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When the worst is over, what comes next?

Faith.

  
It is the strongest weapon a brethren can ever have in this world full of arbitrariness and peril. 

It is the mightiest sword, the greatest shield, the light in one's darkness.

And what will happen when one loses it?

...

Dahyun wakes up. What time is it again? She doesn't know. 

Her chest isn't heaving, her heart is not trying to claw out of her body. There's only silence, the one she always wanted. Funny how we always desire something only to find out, once we got it, that it isn't what we expected at all. There are no distorted images or figures crawling out from everywhere trying to get her, just the same gray ceiling that always welcomed her everyday... and the world that has become one shade darker in her eyes. 

She stood up. She must pray, but what for? She has done it countless times but salvation never came. All she got in return is pity and the hefty weight of knowing that the people around her are suffering, because of her, and there's nothing she can do about it. So she turned her back from the book lying on her nightstand and went straight to the door. She saw her friends, lying beside eachother, exhausted and with eyes still swollen from all the crying that forced Dahyun to sleep. She made light, quiet steps to the bathroom, looking back almost every second to make sure that the two won't be awoken by her. She quickly prepared herself to go out, because she doesn't have the heart to face Chaeyoung and Tzuyu, and the mess she made. So she wrote a note and ordered food for them to eat once they wake up. The delivery came fast, like she hoped for. 

  
And it's time to go. 

  
Dahyun has no idea where she's going, and she doesn't mind. She just kept on moving forward one step at a time. Minding is the last thing she wants to do, and she'd choose to throw away her brain if she only can... because nothing good ever sprung from it. What she wouldn't do to get away from her thoughts, from all the memories that made her the way she is; jaded, empty... damned. 

And damned she truly is. 

"Ya!", was the last thing Dahyun heard before the impact hit her, causing her to fall to the ground. She check her hands for any wounds as she stood up, bracing herself to get slapped or cursed, with eyes shut and her head hung low. 

It was her fault after all. Always has been. 

"My milk tea... gone now.", Dahyun opened her eyes only to meet honey-colored irises looking back at her, as if she just lost her most priced possession. And the perpetrator can't speak, partly because she can't understand how someone can be this devastated by a spilled drink, but mostly because the mentioned someone that's now giving her these sad, doe eyes is immensely gorgeous. The contact remained unbroken, neither is looking away. Dahyun feels like her body might've just crashed down and as for the stranger? She can't tell. 

"Hey, move it!", so an angry middle-aged man did the work on their behalf, making them jolt and step aside to let to let other humans pass through the pathway. 

"I... I'm very sorry. I wasn't looking. Are you okay?", Dahyun deemed that it is only right to apologize first, she bowed her head again. Internally she is also sorry for staring at her face for too long. She felt dirty. 

"It's okay. I just felt sad because it tasted so good. Milk tea is the best, right?", the girl replied back with a smile that almost blinded Dahyun. 

And there it is again: her guilt. Rising from the base of her throat, stifling her in an awfully slow pace. She must make amends, or kneel for forgiveness —anything to get rid of this. She looked back to the the emptied container she knocked down. She sighed in resignation, there's nothing else to do, so she will break her first and most important rule:

  
Never go out with strangers.

  
"I can buy you another cup, if you'd like. To make up the one I spilled.", may God help her. 

The stranger's eyes lit up, another smile curving up across her surreal face. "Really?"  
  
"Yes.", and Dahyun gets dragged by the hand, trailing close behind the girl skipping her way to the nearest pedestrian lane to their left. And she felt weird. By now her mind should be screaming profanities at her for letting someone unknown touch her, and her nerves would pulse through her body maniacally. But she felt fine. At ease, even.

And warm. 

After nine minutes of walking, they reached a Gong Cha stall. They made their way inside and the stranger quickly stated her pick, and Dahyun just ordered the same. She actually prefers chocolate milkshakes, or anything chocolate, but trying out new things can't hurt, can they?

"Thanks for treating me, I feel happy again.", the stranger must now know what personal space means, as they walk with their arms linked. Which reminded Dahyun of someone, but she doesn't wanna spoil the fun this lady is having. She said she'll make it up to her. 

"I'm relieved to hear that, I am very sorry for—"

"It's alright now! No need to say sorry hahahaha!", her giggles rang through Dahyun's ears... and resentment washed over her again. How can someone be this cheerful? Is this a possible effect of a winter melon milk tea? Dahyun does not know. She can't recall the last time she felt happy. If not for the books she's been reading she might've forgotten what it can actually feel like. Another round of her mind drifting away formed lines between her furrowed brows, that was immediately dispersed by the touch of her unexpected companion.

"Why?", she asked. Dahyun remained motionless.

Why?

"Oh, I forgot telling you earlier. I'm Sana. May I know your name?", she asked again. 

Why?

"Kim Dahyun.", and the lady nodded in recognition. 

Why?

"I hope you're not thinking of sad things, Dahyun-ssi.", she replied. 

Why?

"I was.", Dahyun answers.

Why?

Sana stopped to think, looking back at the pleasant layers of clouds covering the skies of Seoul, then back to Dahyun who's filled with something Sana can't seem to read nor understand. 

"Then come with me. I'm about to meet someone, just near here. Then I think we'll visit an apartment and after that maybe you can help me pick out furniture? Keeping busy makes you think less, I heard.", Sana offers. 

Dahyun looked back at Sana, her eyes were sincere. Isn’t this what she wanted? Minding less and doing more. A distraction has been given, all she needs to do is to accept. Should she be worried? Should she decline?

Decide. 

“Sure. If it’s okay with you, Sana-ssi.”, Dahyun replied back. It’s all good. 

She wishes that it would be. 

  
… 

  
And it was. 

Dahyun talked more than she ever expected because Sana, apparently, is a very chatty fellow, within the eight hours they have spent together she felt like she might’ve known her since she was a kid. She was very open, warm and familiar —like the fresh breeze of spring filled with the smell of flowers blooming, one inhale and you would know that its here. Sana listened with full attention every time she speaks, and would always smile back at her, as if reassuring her that her thoughts are safe, and cared for. 

Something Dahyun haven’t experienced much in her existence. 

From inspecting the apartment unit she would stay in with the building’s landlord, Jihyo, Sana would ask Dahyun if it looks okay with her and what color of couch must she get to match the overall homey vibe of the place. Dahyun would of course think hard about it and consider all options shown to her by the store clerk, to which Sana would wholeheartedly laugh to, saying “You’re thinking too much about it, are you gonna live with me?”. Dahyun would be dumbfounded, then just laugh along. Is seriously choosing a furniture for someone you just met today weird? Most people would say yes, but Dahyun has always been expected to give the right answer to anything —from book suggestions to exams and even with verses during Sunday bible group discussions, so as the saying goes: old habits die hard. 

They would eat pancakes at Dahyun’s fave restaurant, meeting Jihyo again —as one of the waitresses this time, and they would talk more about what they have been doing. Dahyun isn’t one to share things about herself but today will be an exception. It’s all good. 

“Really? You own a bookstore? Wow!”, Sana acclaimed at what the Dahyun just shared. Like she have been doing the whole time. This girl has a gift for gratifying others. 

“I inherited it. My late grandpa built it, then passed on to my dad… and now to me.”, Dahyun nonchalanty replied before she took a sip of her chocolate milkshake.

“Even so, it’s still an amazing thing don’t you think? Being a student and having your own business to run, that must be hard.”, Sana replied while cutting a piece of her pancake. 

“It is hard sometimes, especially we’re a bit short-staffed and —what are you doing?”, Dahyun is dumbfounded for the second time today. 

“Come on, take this.”, Sana said as she moves her fork with a slice of pancake on it closer to Dahyun’s mouth. 

Dahyun remembered someone again. She nodded and took Sana’s offer, earning a smile from the lady. 

  
Today was good. 

  
And like what all good things do, today had to end. 

Sana said her goodbyes and asked for Dahyun’s number, and giving her one tight hug. And did Dahyun melted like a puddle of mush to the touch? Maybe. 

“I will visit your store next time okay? Or maybe hire me? I need a job too!”, Sana said as she snuggle Dahyun between her arms. 

Dahyun smiled at the thought, Sana might actually be the solution to a number of her worries. Plus, she knows how to keep someone occupied. 

“That would be nice. But I would like you to see it for yourself first, just to make sure if you’ll actually like it there. Some people find bookstores a boring workplace.”, she finally answered.

“Boring? It would never be. You’ll be there remember?”, Sana rebuts with a wink. 

Dahyun was dumbfounded for the third time today… and might also be blushing.

Sana was about to say something more but quickly halted, giving a smile and saying her goodbyes. Quickly turning away and blending away with the crowd. Dahyun could only nod and wave goodbye to the girl. 

A few moments passed and warmth made its way around Dahyun’s waist, followed by the scent of Jasmines. She looked back to see the person she kept remembering the whole day. 

“Momo-ssi?”, Dahyun muttered. Momo only gave a lop-sided smile in return, still locking Dahyun in a back hug. The younger felt the warmth spread out throughout her whole body in a alarming speed, making her fear that the girl might notice it too. So Dahyun broke free from the contact. Momo let her go, still smiling. 

She might’ve noticed it after all. 

“Are you lost?”, Momo asks teasingly. 

If there was a referee keeping tabs of how many times Dahyun founds herself speechless today, she will already be out of the game. 

“Sorry, did I broke you?” Momo laughs at her. Dahyun snapped back to now, and brushed away the thought she just had. No, don’t even. 

“I’m sorry, just got surprised. I’m on my way to The Index, actually.”, Dahyun lied. She actually doesn’t have any clue where she wants to go. But she must say something. 

“Ah, I see. May I tag along? I’m bored.”, Momo quickly wraps her arms around Dahyun’s shoulders as they walk their way to the bookstore. 

…

Unknown to the two, Sana took a turn and walked back to a spot close to where she came from, watching silently as the Momo clings to Dahyun, and Dahyun turning to a highschool student unable to act normally around her crush. A knowing smile crept across her face. 

As the two walk away, Sana started her journey back to her hotel. She grabs her phone resting inside her back pocket. She dialed a number, and her call was immediately answered. 

“Sana _ojou-sama_ , good evening. What can I do for you?”, a man spoke.

“I changed my mind. Please keep an eye on Momo for me.”, Sana commanded. 

“Understood.”, he quickly replied.

“One more thing,” Sana added. 

“Yes, _ojou-sama_?” 

“I need information about a girl named Kim Dahyun. She owns a bookstore, and a second year student in Seoul National University. I want everything.”

“As you wish.” 

And the phone call ended. 

Sana looked up to the skies, they weren’t as pleasant as they were during the day. She continued to walk with keeping the smile she had been wearing before she made the call. 

  
“We really do have the same type, don’t we, Momoring?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello folks, so here it is again. This chapter will have a second part because I felt like it's only right to do so. I'm sorry for updating late, I became busy with stuff. I hope you like the story so far, and don't hesitate to let me know what you think. I will appreciate it a lot. 
> 
> And as always, thanks for your time. :)


	8. The Aftermath (II)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is what comes next.

A brethren, without her faith, is like a sheep lost from its herd.

It is when one is at their most vulnerable —closest to sin and temptation.

  
And Dahyun is now far from the reach of The Shepherd’s crook.

  
…

Dahyun’s senses are heightened. She have been shifting in her seat way too much it will make someone suspect that there might be bugs in it. Her body is starting to form beads of sweat in desperation to release heat boiling from her core, expanding to consume her whole being, making the hair on the back of her neck stand up. Her lips are like a barren land in dire need of rain… breaths became shorter and more labored as every second passed by. She was just supposed to have one day away from her thoughts, to try and find things to distract her.

But Dahyun didn’t mean this type of distraction.

  
So where did it went wrong?

…

It was 07:10 pm. 

Dahyun and Momo reached The Index… that’s already closed.

“Well, did you forget something inside?”, Momo asked as she sat on the wooden bench just outside the store.

Dahyun can’t say anything, she felt like she just dug herself a hole that’s now trapping her. She is good at lying, she has been doing it for years, so mistakes like this are tremendously disappointing.

“I… uh…”, Dahyun stuttered. Shit. 

“Not really planning on coming here?”, Momo finished her in one blow.  
  
“Yes.”, Dahyun admitted. Momo looked at her for a few moments, with a glint of curiosity in her eyes. Dahyun wanted to vanish into nothingness. The lady stood up and inched closer to her. Dahyun’s breath might’ve hitched. 

“Then you should’ve just said so y’know?”, Momo replied. Dahyun wanted to reason out that she just straight out malfunctioned because the lady is too close, like right now.

“I wasn’t thinking straight. I’m sorry.”, Dahyun reasoned. She really isn’t.

“That happens. Even to me, especially when I’m around people I’m interested in.”, Momo replied, while placing her hand on Dahyun’s shoulder. And Dahyun wants to run away. She understood what her point is. Her mind fires a flare signaling to retreat and gather.

Think.

  
Resist.

  
Fight.

“My mind’s been all over the place.”, was all that Dahyun had managed to say. So much for a comeback.

The lady snickered at the reply. Was she blocked?

“Well, that makes the two of us.”, she paused as an idea come across.

“Dahyun-ah… may I take you somewhere?”, she askes.

Dahyun shivers at the question —her mind and its thoughts.

Restraint. It is a trait she takes pride in having, and mastering, throughout her life. It has set her on the right path, away from the things that takes her deeper into the void she has been desperately trying to escape. She knows when to decline, and does it so good no one has been offended by her refusals.

So this one should be easy. 

Or that’s what Dahyun thought.

She turns her face to Momo.  


Restraint.

  
“Sure.”

  


…

Dahyun is being lead by someone else’s hand for the second time today.

  
They arrive in a room twice as big as her apartment. Mirrors on all four sides. The lights stationed at the corners gave the place a theatrical vibe —making her anticipate. Momo let her go, smoothly, making the touch linger. The lump rises again. 

“Take a seat.”, she spoke. Her gaze landed hot on Dahyun’s skin. Thermodynamics don’t work this way.

But nonetheless she obliged, as Momo moved a foldable chair near the center of the room. The lady walked away and Dahyun followed with her eyes, she noticed how her hips swayed fluidly with every step she made. She noticed how the air conditioning might be broken. She noticed that she has been staring for too long.  
  
The floorboards are nice. Glistening. Well-kept and looks expensive even. Wood can be interesting too.

Her attention was taken away by the sound of drum beats, followed by a soulful bass line, and finally —the melody of the guitar and piano chiming in.  


Momo made her way to the center, giving a small smile to her lone audience.

  
“Have I told you that I dance?”, she asked as she kneels down to the floor.

Has she told Dahyun that her world is about to be shaken?

_And you got me like, oh_  
_What you want from me?_  
_And I tried to buy your pretty heart, but the price too high_

  
Momo’s eyes are shut closed, letting the music course to her body. She lifts her left arm up as she inhales euphoria. Throwing her head back in pleasure, releasing the sweet air she nestled shortly in her lungs.

She opened her eyes, a direct hit to Dahyun who’s starting to question her decision of coming with her. A lamb that just entered the den of the lioness. Momo stretches her leg, and slowly lifted her body up, accentuating the gifts God have bestowed to her.

  
Baby you got me like, oh, mm  
You love when I fall apart  
So you can put me together  
And throw me against the wall

  
Dahyun is fighting a war inside her. And Momo’s smile as she swing her hips back and forth is making her lose. With every joint of her body she isolates along with beat, Dahyun crumbles down. But she can’t look away. This is torture. But the kind she will subject herself into —every single time.

  
_Baby you got me like ah, woo, ah_  
_Don't you stop loving me_  
_Don't quit loving me_  
_Just start loving me_

  


Five. Momo skipped five times, not that Dahyun counted. She stepped backwards three times, then swirled around —for Dahyun to see her full glory. And she walked closer, mouthing the lyrics, making every word burn under Dahyun’s skin. She made every inch of the floor hers, lunging and jumping, showing her prowess.

  


_Oh, and baby I'm fist fighting with fire_  
_Just to get close to you_  
_Can we burn something, babe?_  
_And I run for miles just to get a taste_  
_Must be love on the brain_

  


Terpsichore reincarnate.

That’s what Momo is.

She was fierce, relentless —set out to devour. With every spread of her arms; reaching out, grasping —she is taking something from Dahyun. Whatever that is, no name can be put on it yet. As Momo put a finger to her lips, savouring the unknown, Dahyun bites her own. Too hard.

  
_That's got me feeling this way_  
_It beats me black and blue but it fucks me so good_  
_And I can't get enough_  
_Must be love on the brain_

  
With every stomp of Momo’s feet bouncing off the walls of the studio, someone’s heart beats just as loud.  
With every sigh Momo let out, someone’s breathing cuts off. Dahyun’s senses are heightened. She’s shifting in her seat way too much. She is fucked.

  
_And it keeps cursing my name_  
_No matter what I do, I'm no good without you_  
_And I can't get enough_  
_Must be love on the brain_

  


Momo jumped to do an axel turn. Landed on her feet, falling down with grace. she kept her eyes on Dahyun as she walk on her knees, aching to get shorten the distance between them, only to get dragged away again. And she kept her eyes on Dahyun the whole time, as the music died down, as her body slowly wanes to rest.

  
That’s where it all went wrong.

  
It was wrong that her body is starting to form beads of sweat, desperately trying to release heat oozing out of her, expanding to gobble her whole. It is wrong that her lips was left like a barren land in dire need of rain… that her breaths became shorter and more labored as every second passed by.

She was just supposed to have one day away from her thoughts, to try and find things to distract her.

  
It was wrong that distraction came in a form of a woman glistening in sweat, slowly licking her lips as she brushed off her hair backwards. Making Dahyun feel all sorts of things. But her mind is a mess she can’t which is what.

  
Except one.

  
Desire.

“May I use the bathroom?”, she finally spoke as she stood up, not wanting to stay one more second.

Momo, takes a gulp of water from her glass before replying. “Two doors to the left.”, still breathless.

Dahyun did not waste a second, she quickly paced out of the room and to the bathroom stall. Locking the door twice.

And her knees gave out.

“Fuck.”, Dahyun hates cursing. She prefers to keep it polite and profound. She knows that clarity is the key to every communication. Explain and be understood. But there’s nothing much to decipher with what she’s trying to say now. 

  
She’s fucked. 

  
That’s it.

  
…

  


Nothing much happened after Momo’s unexpected private show. Dahyun took her time to simmer down. And politely said that it is time for her to go home. She, of course, never failed to praise the lady for her talent; to which Momo would laugh confidently. She knows she’s got it. She sees her out and offers to walk her home, but Dahyun declined. She can now, finally. Momo hailed a cab for Dahyun, and told her that she will invite her again, after she finished learning a new choreo. Dahyun smiled at her, suppressing her mouth on saying anything unnecessary.

  
Dahyun was arrived to her apartment after a half an hour drive, welcomed by silence. She sighed in relief. She won’t be able to take another round of human interaction. And her friends know this too. She picked up a note left by the two on the counter, next to the one she left earlier.  


**_There’s food in the fridge. Reheat them before you eat._ **  
**_We also stocked your fridge, in case you’re extra hungry._ **  
**_Please eat._ **

It’s Tzuyu, the neat and small writing gave it away.

  
**_We’ll be coming over this Saturday to watch Spongebob with you._ **  
**_Please open the door for us. We’ll bring chocopies._ **

And that’s Chaeyoung. Her handwriting is messier, and always tilted upwards.

  
Dahyun can’t help but giggle, they know her.

  
_**We’re sorry, Dubs. And we love you.** _

End of note.

Dahyun sat down on the chair next to her. One can try, but you can’t escape what is literally inside you.

“I know. I’m sorry too.”, she uttered as she deflated to her seat. Feeling the exhaustion of today.

  
And she remembered someone.

_Oh._

“Fuck me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! So there, that's the second part. 
> 
> For the choreo of Love on the Brain, I watched Jojo Gomez' performance of Galen Hooks' choreography... then imagined it as if it's Momo. 
> 
> I know I didn't capture the moves, and all that jazz, very well. But nonetheless I hope you'd enjoy. 
> 
> And as always, thanks for your time.


End file.
